If you have been married for any length of time you know that marriage is a very fragile thing. How you handle it determines whether or not it can survive. I doubt there is anyone that can truthfully say that their marriage is totally without cracks. In all honesty I would have to say that mine has many chips and hairline cracks. But, by the grace of God, my spouse and I have avoided a complete shattering of our relationship.
The following particulars are merely suggestion, not advice. The reason being I refuse to be liable for any negative results due to a person’s implementation of them. In addition, I must tell you that the information is purely from a female point of view. So, if you are a man, you might want to skip to another section of the website.
When a man and woman stand in the presence of witnesses and vow to love, honor, and cherish til death shall part them, it is a very solemn occasion. That may be the only time in the relationship that the two are sincerely in one mind and one accord. From that point the gap begins to widen unless serious steps are taken to avoid inevitable conflict.
For a healthy relationship, the first thing to remember is don’t verbalize everything you think. First, weight it out and decide if the satisfaction you will get from speaking your mind will be worth the consequences you will suffer. I am not suggesting dishonesty. I am just saying that sometimes pleading the fifth is the best choice.
Another very important thing to remember is never tell your husband what to wear. There will be times when you know he is wearing something just because you think it is “U-G-L-Y”. Still, try to restrain yourself. Even though you are trying to save him, Don’t Do It!! Respect the fact that his choice of apparel is saying, “My wife does not tell me what to do!”
If, however, it is more than you can bear, just put a sticky note on his back that says, “My wife did not dress me.” He might even be willing to wear a T-shirt with that phrase printed on it if it is written in a “manly font”.
Men are peculiar creatures. They want your assistance or opinion, but at their discretion. Sometimes they will ask your opinion just to help them decide what not to do. In my marriage, this most often happens when we are looking for a parking spot. Over the years, I have learned to stifle any recommendation of any particular park. I just let him drive around and around the parking lot for about 10 minutes until he finds one,
One vital element in a marriage is you must be able to speak the same language. To be more specific, you must learn to speak his language. My deficiency in being able to speak my husband’s language has caused many an altercation and near accident during our years together.
One of his greatest frustrations with me is that I do not have left-right orientation. He pretends not to understand that “this way” means left and “that way” means right (or vice versa according to which side of the car I am sitting on).
However, he would be the first to tell you that I have a great sense of direction. So, when he is driving, he often asks, ” Now which way do we turn here?” When I reply “this way” or “that way” he often misses the turn because he insists that I say left or right. He pretends not to know what ” this way” or “that way” means. I try to explain to him that by the time I figure out how to say it using his preferred vocabulary we would have passed the place to turn.
I really can’t believe that he is so ignorant that he cannot understand me. I think he is just proving his point. Well, this usually ends up in a really heated argument about our not being able to understand left and right and this way and that way. Actually, I think it is quite an accomplishment to have lived with someone 50 years not even speaking the same language.
Truthfully, contrast adds interest. Noone desires a mediocre or flavorless relationship. A little fire and spirited debate indicate passion. After all, what is marriage without passion?
As my closing statement I will say in my dear husband’s defense, I would rather disagree with him than anyone else in the whole wide world (somehow, I don’t think that sounded exactly like I meant it to.).