During my lifetime I have spent a good part of my time getting ready to do something or go somewhere. As you know, especially if you are my age, getting ready to go out into public can be quite a task. Back in the day there were no blow driers, no curling irons, and no such thing as scrunching. An acceptable hairdo took some time.

I remember one Sunday morning in particular. It was fellowship Sunday so my first task was to prepare food to carry to church. Next, I dressed the kids in their Sunday best. Finally, I fixed my hair and makeup and got dressed myself. By the time I was ready to walk out the door it was pouring down rain outside.

Now at the time, we had no garage, not even a covered walkway to reach the car in the driveway. I did have an umbrella. Now I can always count on this one thing when it is raining. If I am in the house the umbrella is in the car. If I am in the car the umbrella is in the house. So it was this Sunday morning.

Due to the inopportune placement of the umbrella, I began to look around for something I could use for protection from the downpour inevitable facing me on my journey to the car. Finally, I found a white kitchen garbage bag. With it I completely covered my head and was pleased to find that I could see pretty well through the opaque bag. I discovered that the outline of objects was quite clearly defined through the white plastic. I felt this would serve nicely for my short trip through the rain.

After gathering up all I could carry of the food I had prepared, I covered my head and face with the bag. Grasping the doorknob with my free hand, I opened the door.

When the bright outside light hit the white bag I went white blind. I couldn’t see anything! Any sane person would have stopped at this point and considered a plan B. Not me. I decided that being such a short distance to the car, I should be able to successfully feel my way along. So, head covered with the blind umbrella I stepped out onto the porch into the pouring rain.

To my credit, I did quite well until I started down the steps. Then the heel of my black patten leather pumps hung on the second step. It was all downhill from there. I got all tangled up. Tumbling down the steps, along with my fellowship dinner, I fell full length into the leak of the house. I lay motionless for several seconds as the deluge from the roof soaked me to the skin. Before I attempted to get up, I proceeded to take the garbage bag from my head. Although this action restored my vision, my hair then became the final victim of the flood damage.

That Sunday I pulled double duty. I had to get ready twice. Can’t remember what happened about my fellowship dinner.